Connection VS Attention
We often look at our child’s behavior as ‘attention-seeking’ when in fact, with a slight mindset shift, we could instead see it as ‘connection-seeking’.
When we change how we view it, the dynamic changes. There’s more of a spirit of generosity underlying.
Our children communicate through their behavior. It’s on us to remember this. To ‘read’ their behavior as communication, and to look at it with grace and empathy - even when it may be poorly-timed or inconvenient. With this lens, we do not take it personally. We don’t accuse them of manipulating. And we don’t unfairly assume poor intention.
This shift in mindset helps us to be more accepting of our children. To honor them for being the little humans they are, having very real experiences and feelings.
When we see our children this way, and interpret their behavior as connection-seeking, we can, once everyone is regulated, gently inquire about this suspicion and humbly check-in with them about it. Offer our compassion.
And then, follow up by looking for opportunities to offer some one-on-one time and/or slow down to carve out more moments of true presence.
